In light of the situation that just past (the beginning of pregnancy)…I will take a minute to reflect.
I am officially out of my 1st trimester today and am finally beginning to get some energy and spunk back. But, sadly I have traded that in for alligator skin and a few other not so pleasant symptoms.
My mom was here for a week at the beginning of January and we had a blast. I didn't do one load of laundry and I don't think I cooked anything. You don't have to tell me…I know I have the best mom ever. But, then we had to get back to real life. So...
Last week while rocking J to sleep one night I began to reflect on a few things. Sometimes you realize that there really aren't that many things to get all bent out of shape about and if you look hard enough you can find greater meanings. Let me show you…
1. Having a sticky floor sometimes is ok…it helps sock footed messy faced toddlers have traction while running through the kitchen!
2. Messy faces…which is almost 24/7…that's ok too. That means there was food to eat and if it gets bad enough…maybe a bath. Score for toddler!
3. If you house is like mine then sometimes you can't see the floor for legos, blocks, socks, balls, and other random toys. Contrary to many in older generations…this is ok. It helps your children (and you on occasion) improve upon your balance and coordination! (just be extra careful with the legos…it is possible to end up in the ER…)
4. Occasionally, you may find your child eating something…that you didn't give them…from the trash can. (This has only happened 2 days) After sweeping his mouth and inspecting, I concluded it wasn't anything that would have hurt him. So…it just builds his immune system…big plus!
5. Lastly, I realized (and have been told 1,000 times) that sometimes you just do what you can to get by. I don't let my child have caffeine…but, this week I did give him a drink of my sunkist so my husband and I could eat in peace! He had been drinking his water all day…but, he proceeded to scream because mommy had a cool cup with a straw and it was so much better that his stinking sippy cup! The silver lining…Jensen got to brush his teeth an extra time (which he LOVES) and got a new sippy cup with a straw!
I love how much my little boy is growing and learning. There are new things happening around her daily! J screams and laughs when I get home from work (thankfully only 3 days a week). We play and then as we rock to sleep he loves to drink his milk and turn to face me and jabber for 30 minutes and tell me all about his day (or whatever he is sassing about). It is happening so fast.
Anyway…
The messes are ok mommies. There are silver linings everywhere. Hold your blessings close. The messes can wait. One day you house will be clean and quiet and you will have plenty of time of your hands. It is then you will wish you had messy faces to clean, sticky floors to mop, and toys to pick up. If the fact that my house will never be spotless bothers you then I will see ya in public somewhere because I am busy in here enjoying my baby!
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Sunday, October 26, 2014
I am perfect...
I have many flaws. These will be easy to see as you get older. Many, I am sure I will be ashamed of…some I can't change. Everyone has them. Everyone has those things they constantly struggle to change and improve. That, I guess, is part of being human.
But, at this moment in time, to you, I am perfect. I have to say this is very humbling. It makes me realize that some things that I consider flaws are petty. To you I hung the moon. In your short year on this Earth I have been able to give you everything you need. I have failed and I have made mistakes…but, you don't know that.
As I rocked you to sleep tonight I cried. I cried because, for now, you won't accept anyone else putting you to sleep. I cried because you won't always need/want me to rock you to sleep. I cried because I am overwhelmed by the love that I am filled with for you. I cried because…I won't always be perfect to you…but, while I am, I will savor every moment. I will be there when you cry. I will try with every fiber in me to meet your every need.
So, even thought my flaws are very visible to almost everyone else, I am proud to be perfect…if only to you.
I love you Baby J.
But, at this moment in time, to you, I am perfect. I have to say this is very humbling. It makes me realize that some things that I consider flaws are petty. To you I hung the moon. In your short year on this Earth I have been able to give you everything you need. I have failed and I have made mistakes…but, you don't know that.
As I rocked you to sleep tonight I cried. I cried because, for now, you won't accept anyone else putting you to sleep. I cried because you won't always need/want me to rock you to sleep. I cried because I am overwhelmed by the love that I am filled with for you. I cried because…I won't always be perfect to you…but, while I am, I will savor every moment. I will be there when you cry. I will try with every fiber in me to meet your every need.
So, even thought my flaws are very visible to almost everyone else, I am proud to be perfect…if only to you.
I love you Baby J.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
How is it possible?
How is it possible that J is 9 months old and I am starting to think about his first birthday party. It seems like just yesterday I was crying in my hospital bed, on Oct. 4th, because I didn't want my simple world to change. Now I would change it all over again and again and again. My how your little soul has changed things!
Maybe it is just because I am tired because he hasn't slept well the last few nights from cutting his second tooth…but, I am super emotional today (sorry Josh). I ran across this article today on Fb. It's like I told her the words to write. There haven't been many days that have passed that I didn't cry for J about something.
Jensen Carter- Some days I hold you and think I would love to have a thousand little yous running around. You bring me so much joy and happiness. I love watching you learn and grow…but, it hurts my heart. Most days though, I think that my heart can't take doing this again. I am so scared for you. I am scared of people hurting you and you feeling inadequate. I want to protect you from everything-always. She said it perfectly in her post when she said it feels a lot like a breaking heart. That is exactly how I would describe it. My heart swells, hurts, stretches, flutters, and aches for you EVERY DAY!
I pray…I pray so hard every day that you will never turn your back on God or your parents…because, sweet boy, we will never turn our backs on you. You have changed our lives in ways we couldn't even dream of. Watching you and your daddy play makes my eyes fill with tears…he loves you more than you will every know, Baby Boy. He is so proud of you and he thinks you are amazing.
I am learning to take one day at a time. I have to. If I don't then I let my emotions take over and I am paralyzed because I am so scared for you in the world. So, while you take a nap I will try to put on happy music and plan your first birthday party and not think too much about the future.
Maybe it is just because I am tired because he hasn't slept well the last few nights from cutting his second tooth…but, I am super emotional today (sorry Josh). I ran across this article today on Fb. It's like I told her the words to write. There haven't been many days that have passed that I didn't cry for J about something.
Jensen Carter- Some days I hold you and think I would love to have a thousand little yous running around. You bring me so much joy and happiness. I love watching you learn and grow…but, it hurts my heart. Most days though, I think that my heart can't take doing this again. I am so scared for you. I am scared of people hurting you and you feeling inadequate. I want to protect you from everything-always. She said it perfectly in her post when she said it feels a lot like a breaking heart. That is exactly how I would describe it. My heart swells, hurts, stretches, flutters, and aches for you EVERY DAY!
I pray…I pray so hard every day that you will never turn your back on God or your parents…because, sweet boy, we will never turn our backs on you. You have changed our lives in ways we couldn't even dream of. Watching you and your daddy play makes my eyes fill with tears…he loves you more than you will every know, Baby Boy. He is so proud of you and he thinks you are amazing.
I am learning to take one day at a time. I have to. If I don't then I let my emotions take over and I am paralyzed because I am so scared for you in the world. So, while you take a nap I will try to put on happy music and plan your first birthday party and not think too much about the future.
Friday, May 9, 2014
7 month goodies
So, it has been a few weeks. (busy few weeks) But, for my own future reference and other mommies I wanted to post about things we are loving right now.
1. We still LOVE the baby brezza! We took it with us on our trip to Alabama!
2. This may sound silly but J LOVES Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. So, 1st thing in the morning while I get his breakfast stuff together he watches it on the Disney Junior app on my phone….which is what this point is about! love the app. Even if your provider isn't on the list you can still watch one episode of various shows and they change the episode every few weeks or so.
3. I like these spoons to feed him. Simply because they are easy to get the excess off his face. They were a gift. I haven't actually checked their prices. BUT, I am going to order some of these spoons for J to try self feeding.
4. Jensen can't seem to get enough of the Gerber yogurt melts.
5. OK…many moms haven't heard of these but they have been a lifesaver. Just follow the link and be amazed. they are so wonderful! LINK
6. Lastly, he seems to do best with these zippy cups.
We still use his angel care movement monitor most of the time to be sure he is breathing. We got the dual pads bc they cover the whole mattress for when they start moving. We still use receiving blankets constantly because he won't go to sleep unless his face is covered. We still like Huggies for at night and Pampers during the day. (I get Pampers CHEAP through work). I love the diaper rash cream that I make.
We are also trying a baltic amber necklace for all this slobber from teething. I will let ya know what I think!
Until next time
1. We still LOVE the baby brezza! We took it with us on our trip to Alabama!
2. This may sound silly but J LOVES Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. So, 1st thing in the morning while I get his breakfast stuff together he watches it on the Disney Junior app on my phone….which is what this point is about! love the app. Even if your provider isn't on the list you can still watch one episode of various shows and they change the episode every few weeks or so.
3. I like these spoons to feed him. Simply because they are easy to get the excess off his face. They were a gift. I haven't actually checked their prices. BUT, I am going to order some of these spoons for J to try self feeding.
4. Jensen can't seem to get enough of the Gerber yogurt melts.
5. OK…many moms haven't heard of these but they have been a lifesaver. Just follow the link and be amazed. they are so wonderful! LINK
6. Lastly, he seems to do best with these zippy cups.
We still use his angel care movement monitor most of the time to be sure he is breathing. We got the dual pads bc they cover the whole mattress for when they start moving. We still use receiving blankets constantly because he won't go to sleep unless his face is covered. We still like Huggies for at night and Pampers during the day. (I get Pampers CHEAP through work). I love the diaper rash cream that I make.
We are also trying a baltic amber necklace for all this slobber from teething. I will let ya know what I think!
Until next time
Sunday, March 9, 2014
giveaways!
Y'all really need to go check out my FB page. there are TONS of awesome giveaways going on! BabyBrezza, Viva Veltoro, hayneedle, and thrifty nifty mommy! I could spend all night on here! Some of the things I mentioned in my new mommy blog recently are up for grabs! (Like the baby brezza formula pro!!!) GO GO GO!
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Let it flow...
I should most definitely be sleeping instead of blogging since I have to get up at 0530. But, as I was laying in bed I could not turn off my mind. Sundays are so tiring for me. I spend 3 hours of the day trying to keep Jensen quiet and happy with little to occupy him during worship services. I feel like we distract everyone around us. I can't tell you the last time I feel like I got to fully participate in a worship service. But, as tiring as it is…I am scared I will miss this all too quickly.
J had his 4 month appointment last week…actually it was closer to 5 months. I sat in the rocker with him tonight as he slept so peacefully in my arms and I couldn't help but think about the fact that we have had him in our arms for almost half of a year! Just 13 months ago we found out about him and 12 months ago we saw him for the very first time. Now he has been here for 5 months. (on the 5th) It feels like he just got here.
My emotions about him are so raw and heavy. I have never felt emotions like these. I am so proud with every new skill he masters then saddened at the same time. I am sad that his tiny foot has now grown to the size of my palm. I am saddened that he is learning to sit up and to hold his own bottle. I was so proud when he first rolled over but that also means he will soon be crawling and it all seems to be going so fast. I don't think I will ever be prepared. I wasn't prepared to get pregnant. I wasn't prepared to be a mother or give birth. I am not prepared for him to grow up.
I don't look forward to the day that when I lean up against the bathroom counter that my incision isn't tender anymore. That thin 6 inch scar that reminds me that I had life growing inside me. I don't look forward to him not wanting me to hold him and rock him. I know he will not always need me and that makes me sad. Tonight as I laid him down, and he woke up immediately and cried, I stood there thinking about him getting older and not needing me to simply come and whisper to him and pat his diaper and make his world ok. I love that sometimes just picking him up puts him right back to sleep…not a bottle, not a song…just me. So, on the nights that he ends up in bed with us because he just won't stop crying…I do not feel bad. Josh and I understand that this will pass all too quickly. We do look forward to the days when it will be just us again because Lord willing that will mean grandchildren will soon follow…but, these memories will linger and sting a little.
So, for now I will inhale him a little deeper, snuggle him a little longer, and hold on to every moment.
J had his 4 month appointment last week…actually it was closer to 5 months. I sat in the rocker with him tonight as he slept so peacefully in my arms and I couldn't help but think about the fact that we have had him in our arms for almost half of a year! Just 13 months ago we found out about him and 12 months ago we saw him for the very first time. Now he has been here for 5 months. (on the 5th) It feels like he just got here.
My emotions about him are so raw and heavy. I have never felt emotions like these. I am so proud with every new skill he masters then saddened at the same time. I am sad that his tiny foot has now grown to the size of my palm. I am saddened that he is learning to sit up and to hold his own bottle. I was so proud when he first rolled over but that also means he will soon be crawling and it all seems to be going so fast. I don't think I will ever be prepared. I wasn't prepared to get pregnant. I wasn't prepared to be a mother or give birth. I am not prepared for him to grow up.
I don't look forward to the day that when I lean up against the bathroom counter that my incision isn't tender anymore. That thin 6 inch scar that reminds me that I had life growing inside me. I don't look forward to him not wanting me to hold him and rock him. I know he will not always need me and that makes me sad. Tonight as I laid him down, and he woke up immediately and cried, I stood there thinking about him getting older and not needing me to simply come and whisper to him and pat his diaper and make his world ok. I love that sometimes just picking him up puts him right back to sleep…not a bottle, not a song…just me. So, on the nights that he ends up in bed with us because he just won't stop crying…I do not feel bad. Josh and I understand that this will pass all too quickly. We do look forward to the days when it will be just us again because Lord willing that will mean grandchildren will soon follow…but, these memories will linger and sting a little.
So, for now I will inhale him a little deeper, snuggle him a little longer, and hold on to every moment.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
New/Expecting Mommies
I have learned so much over the last 4 months! I have learned a new love that I have never known until I became a mommy. I loved J before I knew his gender (when he was born. Yes, we were one of the "crazy" couples who didn't want to know. I loved it. Yes, you CAN go without finding out. People used to do it ALL the time. end of rant lol) I have found a deeper love for my husband. And I have learned there are a lot of unnecessary accoutrements (haha, I have never typed that word) that come along with babies and there are LOTS that I LOVE!
Some things we have very much relied on are these bottles! When I had to stop breast feeding they were a life saver. We bought ATLEAST 10 different types of bottles and these worked amazingly. I am getting tired of all the pieces, so I tried a different brand and he refused. High maintenance baby haha!
One thing I probably would not buy again but works amazingly is this swing thingy. He hated regular swings but loved to be laid on his back and bounced up and down. Your arms tire so quickly and you can't lay him on your legs and do it…he screams. So, it was a lifesaver…and if you get gift cards it would probably be worth it to all moms.
Swaddlers were a must until he started rolling over. He has WILD arms that would just flap around and wake him up constantly! These were my favorite brand. We got them at target. He consistently busted out of the SleepSak brand.
Playmats are so helpful! J plays on his probably about 2-3 hours a day! Specific brands probably don't matter.
Diapers…you will always have arguments with other moms. We like Huggies little snugglers bc they have what we call the "Safety Strap" along the top of the back. (you know, for blow outs) But, I get Pampers really cheap through work. So, we only use Huggies at night.
These pacis work best if you are breastfeeding bc they help with suck training. We have swapped since he is on formula now.
This carseat cover was a lifesaver for nosy people wanting to peek and touch on your new baby. Especially if they were born during cold/flu season like Jensen. Not to mention I got mine free (just paid shipping). These people also make a nursing pillow, a sling, and an nursing cover. They have codes and coupons everywhere for the same deal where you only pay shipping.
This sleeper was nice while J had bad reflux. It is so portable! But, you can only use is until they start rolling over.
I tried 2-3 different breast pumps. This was my ultimate favorite brand! It was SO efficient. You can adjust the speed AND suction and use it with one or two pumps. I LOVED it. I could pump off 4oz. in less than 2 minutes most of the time. While on nursing stuff…I used disposable nursing pads bc the flannel ones would stick to my skin if I leaked at all…and it hurt SO bad taking them off. Get 3-5 soft (no underwire) nursing bras. Also get nursing tops/pjs. I lived in pj's for about 2 weeks.
I have a Moby wrap but I haven't mastered using it by myself yet haha! I like this one I got at Marshalls that just snaps on.
I don't have a preference for carseats. I have this set from Baby Trend. We are looking at a convertible carseat from Britax that will last until he doesn't need a seat anymore. Britax has the best ratings and can go from newborn to like 70lbs or something!
I saved the best for last. When we were doing our baby registry I saw one of these and said they were the dumbest most expensive things ever. Well, then we went to TN and I had to stop breastfeeding (long story) and went to formula. We had gift cards from a shower there so I told Josh I wanted this on our doorstep when we got home. Are you ready?! HERE IT IS! When J wakes up he is screaming wondering why there isn't a bottle ALREADY in his mouth! This makes a bottle in like 15 seconds!
Also, you can ever have enough receiving blankets. J was SO bad with projectile vomit for a month or two that I used those to cover me instead of using burp rags. Get lots of sheets and mattress covers for spit ups and blow outs. Footie pj's are amazing. A lot of days J never changes out of his. We also haven't gotten very much use out of our mobile over the crib.
EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT! So, you will have to learn your baby. But, some babies will have some things in common so this may help! Any other questions…just ask. I have probably tried it! lol!
Some things we have very much relied on are these bottles! When I had to stop breast feeding they were a life saver. We bought ATLEAST 10 different types of bottles and these worked amazingly. I am getting tired of all the pieces, so I tried a different brand and he refused. High maintenance baby haha!
One thing I probably would not buy again but works amazingly is this swing thingy. He hated regular swings but loved to be laid on his back and bounced up and down. Your arms tire so quickly and you can't lay him on your legs and do it…he screams. So, it was a lifesaver…and if you get gift cards it would probably be worth it to all moms.
Swaddlers were a must until he started rolling over. He has WILD arms that would just flap around and wake him up constantly! These were my favorite brand. We got them at target. He consistently busted out of the SleepSak brand.
Playmats are so helpful! J plays on his probably about 2-3 hours a day! Specific brands probably don't matter.
Diapers…you will always have arguments with other moms. We like Huggies little snugglers bc they have what we call the "Safety Strap" along the top of the back. (you know, for blow outs) But, I get Pampers really cheap through work. So, we only use Huggies at night.
These pacis work best if you are breastfeeding bc they help with suck training. We have swapped since he is on formula now.
This carseat cover was a lifesaver for nosy people wanting to peek and touch on your new baby. Especially if they were born during cold/flu season like Jensen. Not to mention I got mine free (just paid shipping). These people also make a nursing pillow, a sling, and an nursing cover. They have codes and coupons everywhere for the same deal where you only pay shipping.
This sleeper was nice while J had bad reflux. It is so portable! But, you can only use is until they start rolling over.
I tried 2-3 different breast pumps. This was my ultimate favorite brand! It was SO efficient. You can adjust the speed AND suction and use it with one or two pumps. I LOVED it. I could pump off 4oz. in less than 2 minutes most of the time. While on nursing stuff…I used disposable nursing pads bc the flannel ones would stick to my skin if I leaked at all…and it hurt SO bad taking them off. Get 3-5 soft (no underwire) nursing bras. Also get nursing tops/pjs. I lived in pj's for about 2 weeks.
I have a Moby wrap but I haven't mastered using it by myself yet haha! I like this one I got at Marshalls that just snaps on.
I don't have a preference for carseats. I have this set from Baby Trend. We are looking at a convertible carseat from Britax that will last until he doesn't need a seat anymore. Britax has the best ratings and can go from newborn to like 70lbs or something!
I saved the best for last. When we were doing our baby registry I saw one of these and said they were the dumbest most expensive things ever. Well, then we went to TN and I had to stop breastfeeding (long story) and went to formula. We had gift cards from a shower there so I told Josh I wanted this on our doorstep when we got home. Are you ready?! HERE IT IS! When J wakes up he is screaming wondering why there isn't a bottle ALREADY in his mouth! This makes a bottle in like 15 seconds!
Also, you can ever have enough receiving blankets. J was SO bad with projectile vomit for a month or two that I used those to cover me instead of using burp rags. Get lots of sheets and mattress covers for spit ups and blow outs. Footie pj's are amazing. A lot of days J never changes out of his. We also haven't gotten very much use out of our mobile over the crib.
EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT! So, you will have to learn your baby. But, some babies will have some things in common so this may help! Any other questions…just ask. I have probably tried it! lol!
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