The 5 things that make me most happy right now. (in no particular order)
1. Your daddy. He has been making me happy for years now! I love watching him watch you. I love watching him smile when you smile or do new things. Yesterday we took a video of you laughing in your Johnny Jumper and he has watched it probably 10 times and just grinned and laughed. He loves you so much and that makes me happy.
2. You. You make me happy. You are currently laying on your play mat and cooing and trying to roll over. I love watching you discover new things. You laugh warms me and your smile is so big! I have never known a love like this one. We are so proud of you. You make us happy.
3. Prayer. I am happy I have to ability to talk to God about my reservations about being a mother and many other things. Sometimes I feel very inadequate and unprepared. Talking to Him helps calm me. I know I will never be perfect, but I will always strive to be. I want to be the mother you need. Remember, even when you feel like nobody is there, we will always be there. If the Lord calls us home He is there for you. You are NEVER alone.
4. My job. I love my job. I love helping others and making them feel better. I love that I am always learning. I like the science of it all. Some days are miserable and exhausting mentally, physically, and emotionally. Still, I am happy to finally be nursing.
5. There are also a lot of little things that also make me happy. Technology that makes things easier…like your bottle maker, your swing, the diaper genie, cell phones, and the internet. Kit Kats, sparkling strawberry lemonade, and white chocolate mochas make me happy. These are very trivial things that don't amount to a hill of beans in the end. The happiness I get from these last things fade quickly. Material things don't make you happy Baby J. Remember that. Don't let "things" govern your happiness.
I love you!
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
hard one
10 things you would tell your 16 year old self.
1. Mom is right when she says "Nothing good happens after 9 o'clock. Thats why your curfew was 9:30. (even though she fights to the death that it wasn't)
2. You are going to fail at things. That's ok.
3. Not everything will go as planned the first time you try it. You will overcome your fears and try college again. You will succeed with flying colors. You will be Ashley BSN, RN
4. You will marry Josh. Take it slow.
5. Not everything is a big deal. Don't blow things out of proportion.
6. Respect your parents and Josh's parents. They will be your in-laws. You will love them and they will love you.
7. Not everyone you meet will like you. That is their loss.
8. You will have you spiritual lulls. Keep praying and studying. You will work through them.
9. Spend more time with your mom and brother. You will miss them so much when you leave home. And one day you will live in TX and it will be hard to live so far away when your baby brother is growing up.
10. Always try your best and always love the Lord.
1. Mom is right when she says "Nothing good happens after 9 o'clock. Thats why your curfew was 9:30. (even though she fights to the death that it wasn't)
2. You are going to fail at things. That's ok.
3. Not everything will go as planned the first time you try it. You will overcome your fears and try college again. You will succeed with flying colors. You will be Ashley BSN, RN
4. You will marry Josh. Take it slow.
5. Not everything is a big deal. Don't blow things out of proportion.
6. Respect your parents and Josh's parents. They will be your in-laws. You will love them and they will love you.
7. Not everyone you meet will like you. That is their loss.
8. You will have you spiritual lulls. Keep praying and studying. You will work through them.
9. Spend more time with your mom and brother. You will miss them so much when you leave home. And one day you will live in TX and it will be hard to live so far away when your baby brother is growing up.
10. Always try your best and always love the Lord.
Marriage
Day 3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
Well, J, daddy and I have been together a long time. 13 years! Your daddy took me on my very first date. We went to eat at our favorite restaurant, Los Portales, and then played putt-putt. After that daddy took me back to my house and there was a surprise 16th birthday party there for me!
Your daddy and I said "I love you" pretty early in the relationship. I believe we did love each other as much as two 16 year olds could love each other. But, it pales to how I love your daddy now. Your daddy is one of my heroes and I am his biggest fan. He has always supported and encouraged me. We believe in each other. I respect your daddy so much. He does so much for our little family. Your daddy does a wonderful job at leading our family. I do my best to be a godly submissive wife. (I had a great teacher in your grandma Vicki.) Your daddy and I rarely disagree about things and have never raised our voice to one another. We have already agreed to not fight in front of you. And stand behind each other when decisions are made. If we don't agree we will discuss those things in private.
We love you SO much baby J, but we will always put each other first. I hope you will learn to do the same when you meet the one you choose to spend your life with. Lord willing you will have that opportunity and choose a God fearing spouse. I am not ready to think about this very much because right now nobody can love you like you need to be loved except me. But, I pray somewhere out there a mommy and daddy and praying these same things food their little girl, who will be your wife.
Baby J, you are expected to be the head of your home and do everything in your power to help them get to heaven. You need to be the leader in your home but, always respect your wife's opinion. You will be a team. Things won't always be easy. But, marriage is a fun journey!
Well, J, daddy and I have been together a long time. 13 years! Your daddy took me on my very first date. We went to eat at our favorite restaurant, Los Portales, and then played putt-putt. After that daddy took me back to my house and there was a surprise 16th birthday party there for me!
Your daddy and I said "I love you" pretty early in the relationship. I believe we did love each other as much as two 16 year olds could love each other. But, it pales to how I love your daddy now. Your daddy is one of my heroes and I am his biggest fan. He has always supported and encouraged me. We believe in each other. I respect your daddy so much. He does so much for our little family. Your daddy does a wonderful job at leading our family. I do my best to be a godly submissive wife. (I had a great teacher in your grandma Vicki.) Your daddy and I rarely disagree about things and have never raised our voice to one another. We have already agreed to not fight in front of you. And stand behind each other when decisions are made. If we don't agree we will discuss those things in private.
We love you SO much baby J, but we will always put each other first. I hope you will learn to do the same when you meet the one you choose to spend your life with. Lord willing you will have that opportunity and choose a God fearing spouse. I am not ready to think about this very much because right now nobody can love you like you need to be loved except me. But, I pray somewhere out there a mommy and daddy and praying these same things food their little girl, who will be your wife.
Baby J, you are expected to be the head of your home and do everything in your power to help them get to heaven. You need to be the leader in your home but, always respect your wife's opinion. You will be a team. Things won't always be easy. But, marriage is a fun journey!
Monday, January 27, 2014
3 fears.
I dread writing this one because I am going to feel so vulnerable. But, even though you may think so right now, I am not perfect. You will never be perfect. You will have fears and I pray God allows me to stay around long enough to help you overcome them.
1. I fear failure
I was always hard on myself in school with academics. I wanted to win EVERY spelling bee and make the highest grade on every test and get done with every multiplication quiz first. I wanted to do things "right". I hated the thought of ever disappointing my mother and this was a driving force a lot of my childhood. I wanted to be like her. I definitely haven't failed at that! I am constantly finding ways me and your Grandma Vicki are alike!
Anyway, I remember getting my first C and D on a test and feeling like a failure. I remember failing my first college course and being devastated. I remember being told I couldn't return to the private college I was at because I had failed a class. I thought my world was OVER! This is why it took me 4 years to go back to school. My fear of failure was so strong. But, your dad was my biggest fan and pushed me so hard! With lots of love, support, and hard work your mommy is now a nurse!
I struggle a lot with being scared of failing as a Christian, wife, and mother. But, I think most moms do!
2. I fear change
I was so scared to go to college and still remember the heart crushing look on my mother's face as I drove away. I remember crying the whole 2 hour drive. I remember talking to her 6+ times a day. I remember not knowing how I was going to make it without her…here creeps in that fear of failure again.
Then I was scared of the HUGE change of getting married. I was so excited, but it was a big change. I would be living 7 hours away from family. (This turns out to be one of the best decisions we could have made because we learned to rely on one another).
I was nervous about the change of moving to TX. I flat out did not want to. But, I told your daddy I trusted him and would support whatever decision he thought was best for us. We are still here almost 5 years later.
You were the biggest change so far! And I have never been so scared or felt so inadequate in my whole life. I probably always will. But, I am trying and that will NEVER change!
3. I fear losing loved ones
This is one I can't think about for too long. It is a legitimate WORRY if I don't concentrate hard to control my mind. I don't like thinking about having to live my life without some very special people. Maybe I will expound on this later…but, I con't let my mind go there tonight.
A few other fears include: lighthouses, spiders, crunching bugs, haunted houses, potatoes with eyes, etc.
Baby J, you will have fears. But, always remember that there is always The Great Comforter you can rely on.
(I had 4 hours of sleep so overlook the grammatical errors.)
1. I fear failure
I was always hard on myself in school with academics. I wanted to win EVERY spelling bee and make the highest grade on every test and get done with every multiplication quiz first. I wanted to do things "right". I hated the thought of ever disappointing my mother and this was a driving force a lot of my childhood. I wanted to be like her. I definitely haven't failed at that! I am constantly finding ways me and your Grandma Vicki are alike!
Anyway, I remember getting my first C and D on a test and feeling like a failure. I remember failing my first college course and being devastated. I remember being told I couldn't return to the private college I was at because I had failed a class. I thought my world was OVER! This is why it took me 4 years to go back to school. My fear of failure was so strong. But, your dad was my biggest fan and pushed me so hard! With lots of love, support, and hard work your mommy is now a nurse!
I struggle a lot with being scared of failing as a Christian, wife, and mother. But, I think most moms do!
2. I fear change
I was so scared to go to college and still remember the heart crushing look on my mother's face as I drove away. I remember crying the whole 2 hour drive. I remember talking to her 6+ times a day. I remember not knowing how I was going to make it without her…here creeps in that fear of failure again.
Then I was scared of the HUGE change of getting married. I was so excited, but it was a big change. I would be living 7 hours away from family. (This turns out to be one of the best decisions we could have made because we learned to rely on one another).
I was nervous about the change of moving to TX. I flat out did not want to. But, I told your daddy I trusted him and would support whatever decision he thought was best for us. We are still here almost 5 years later.
You were the biggest change so far! And I have never been so scared or felt so inadequate in my whole life. I probably always will. But, I am trying and that will NEVER change!
3. I fear losing loved ones
This is one I can't think about for too long. It is a legitimate WORRY if I don't concentrate hard to control my mind. I don't like thinking about having to live my life without some very special people. Maybe I will expound on this later…but, I con't let my mind go there tonight.
A few other fears include: lighthouses, spiders, crunching bugs, haunted houses, potatoes with eyes, etc.
Baby J, you will have fears. But, always remember that there is always The Great Comforter you can rely on.
(I had 4 hours of sleep so overlook the grammatical errors.)
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Learning about Mommy (for Baby J)
I saw this on a friend's blog and loved the idea! These are a list of things for Jensen to read one day and learn about his mom. I am going to try to have Josh do them also. As I sit typing and looking at him on the monitor…I pray one day he will know how deeply I love him, his father, and his Father.
Here's the List :
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 and weaknesses strengths you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
So, day one:
1. I can't cook in a dirty kitchen
2. I don't like fuzzes in-between my toes
3. I usually wear children's size shoes
4. I am most comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans (no shoes)
5. Your dad took me on my first date
6. I wrecked grandma's car when I was 15
7. I had eye surgery when I was 9 months old because my left eye was crossed (so, I wore glasses for many years)
8. I went to school with Justin Timberlake (you probably will have to google him by the time you care to read this!)
9. I don't really like roller coasters
10. I LOVE Disney World!
11. I scratch when I am tired (my head, my back, you daddy's head)
12. I pick when I am stressed or worried (usually at my arms)
13. I do not like change, but I am trying to learn how to better adjust
14. I count a lot. (I count steps and rhythmic noises…I should stop bc I will sound really weird)
15. I played softball in the 4th grade. Then again the year you were born for a co-ed city league
16. I never skipped school in HS
17. I never went to a school dance or prom
18. I hate shopping for clothes (for myself). I love shopping for you and your dad!
19. I prefer the winter and I LOVE snow!
20. I like to write but don't like to read for pleasure.
I am thinking about putting these in a shutter fly book or something.
Here's the List :
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 and weaknesses strengths you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
So, day one:
1. I can't cook in a dirty kitchen
2. I don't like fuzzes in-between my toes
3. I usually wear children's size shoes
4. I am most comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans (no shoes)
5. Your dad took me on my first date
6. I wrecked grandma's car when I was 15
7. I had eye surgery when I was 9 months old because my left eye was crossed (so, I wore glasses for many years)
8. I went to school with Justin Timberlake (you probably will have to google him by the time you care to read this!)
9. I don't really like roller coasters
10. I LOVE Disney World!
11. I scratch when I am tired (my head, my back, you daddy's head)
12. I pick when I am stressed or worried (usually at my arms)
13. I do not like change, but I am trying to learn how to better adjust
14. I count a lot. (I count steps and rhythmic noises…I should stop bc I will sound really weird)
15. I played softball in the 4th grade. Then again the year you were born for a co-ed city league
16. I never skipped school in HS
17. I never went to a school dance or prom
18. I hate shopping for clothes (for myself). I love shopping for you and your dad!
19. I prefer the winter and I LOVE snow!
20. I like to write but don't like to read for pleasure.
I am thinking about putting these in a shutter fly book or something.
I love you Baby J.
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