10 weeks of lessons!

I write this to mothers-to-be, mothers, and people who know a mother!

99% of the people I have talked to have told me everything I feel/have felt is normal. But, I have never had hormone problems and adjustment problems like I have in the last 10 weeks. The things I am writing are absolutely not true for EVERYONE…but, they are for the majority of women. These are some lessons I have learned…I don't know how many I will end up with bc I am just going to let them roll…

1. YOU WILL NEVER BE PREPARED! You will never be prepared for the amount of change you will endure…physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I am a type A personality. I want to be organized and prepared for EVERYTHING. I have pinterest boards, notebooks, and literature galore that I read to try to get ready for this change and while a lot of it helped…it didn't touch the surface.

2. Something WILL go wrong. Whether you wanted to go natural and med free and end up with a c-section…or you want NO pain meds and end up with an epidural…or you want to breastfeed and have problems…NOTHING will be perfect!

3. There will be people who make you feel inadequate. There are people who look at you like you are crazy when you tell them how you are feeling. They are the rare exception… Most women have been exactly where you are and have felt what you feel… Too many women don't talk about these things and do new mothers an injustice. (Maybe they are ashamed, as I have been…or maybe they just don't remember) We need to be prepared for the feelings we will have and know that they are OK and NORMAL!

4. While I am on feelings… You will resent your child for taking your freedom and taking time away from your husband. You will wish things were "back to normal". You will get mad at your child. You will get mad because your husband is still 'normal'. You will get mad when he goes and does 'fun' things while you are left with a screaming baby. You will get mad at yourself for feeling these things! There will be times you DON'T enjoy motherhood! I sat and cried all day because Jensen would leave home one day. The next day I sat and cried because if something happened to me Josh and Jensen would be left without a mother/wife. You will think you are losing your mind….give it a few weeks and say lots of prayers.

5. You will have major body changes…I will not elaborate on this one too much in case men read this…but, there are MANY things people (and nursing textbooks in my case) don't tell you! Maybe another blog post for that!

6. You won't get much done the first 10 weeks. I spent the first 8 weeks in the recliner. He slept on my chest or in my arms…it was just easier. There were days I didn't brush my hair or teeth (gross, I know). You will push your bladder to the max because you don't want to wake a FINALLY sleeping baby!

7. While on that topic. ACCEPT help. Actually…let me stop a minute…If you know someone who has just had a baby don't OFFER your help…GIVE IT!!! Don't let it be a choice/option…they will probably not call you and ask because of #3. We feel like we are supposed to be able to handle everything flawlessly bc all other mothers do, right?! NO!!! All other mothers DON'T handle it flawlessly…THEY JUST DON'T TALK ABOUT IT!!! That is why I am blogging this!!! I appreciate so much the people who stopped by without asking and leaving food. I appreciate my sister-in-law saying she was coming to help clean! I appreciate my mother and mother-in-law coming and helping…this gave me time to learn and bond with my baby and not have to worry about the house. So, call the lady and say "Hey, I am coming over to clean your bathrooms, kitchen….whatever".

8. You will adjust to less sleep!

9. Make your own rules. My baby sleeps with us. (I know, shame on us!) I DON'T CARE WHAT THE BOOKS SAY. This works for us. I wasn't going to give him a pacifier either… He is currently in the bassinet in front of me sucking away on one! YOU ARE THIS CHILD'S MOTHER…NOBODY ELSE! Yes, advice can be very helpful…but, in the end that child is YOUR responsibility…and YOU are raising them.

10. You will know a love like no other. When you see that first intentional smile…it helps erase the frustration…if only for a minute. Snuggle them, kiss them, hug them, and love them. You know they won't be that little forever…nobody needs to remind you of that.

Motherhood is STILL not easy for me. I still have daily selfish pity parties. I still get frustrated with Jensen. Things HAVE gotten better. He has been hard to feed since day one! Everyone says 12 weeks is when things usually get better…I am counting the days! I am not wishing them away by any means…but, I am anxiously awaiting them! I should try and get a nap because he will be up again in an hour or so...